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Author Topic: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?  (Read 2684 times)

Offline el_pedorro

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2012, 03:20:00 PM »
I used to get the same grief from my wife about the dangers of diving until I took out a hefty AD&D policy and made her the beneficiary.

Offline Robert

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2012, 03:47:01 PM »
All some very funny half serious stuff. Dave I did marry mine, and we've had some knock down fights over it all. at the end of the day phish you need to understand the root of her request. if she is jsut trying t ocontole you obviously drop her like a weight belt. I highly doubt that though. My wifes concearns stem from lack of knowledge, she is happier when I go bore hunting than diving Ft. Ross. At the end of the day what got her calmed down was this. She knows when I'm going, she knows I call when I'm back in cell reception, she knows I'm a compitent diver, and above all she trusts that I'm willing to call off a dive even once I'm in the water. What helped with my wife was talking about diving. I tell her how each dive was when I get home. She doesnt understand (still) and doesnt know much of anything about what I'm saying to her, but she hears my compitence and she hears me say when days were great and when days were only so-so. Also she knows that there is a very solid group of guys on here that are all very accomplished trust worthy divers. She is still concearned and still ignorant of the water, but she trusts me that I am responsible and know how to be safe. you might even have her watch a few of Chaeki's videos to show her how divers watch each other and dive together. Best of luck buddy.
it was a goonies reference

Offline jackyd

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2012, 04:05:02 PM »
Jackyd- I tried that approach and she said I can't ride in a car either...didn't get us far in the argument at all.

Dude you let her bluff you!

But on an actual serious note, I am also in my mid twenties with a girlfriend who gets understandably concerned with me frequently diving alone since I get out on odd weekday morning etc. She is very understanding and even came out to live boat it for us at Tomales point. One thing that really helped was to encourage her to be part of the sport. She pulled her first ab two years ago, and even though its really not her thing, it has really given her understanding and appreciation for what I do and why I do it.

Understanding and appreciation are key to acceptance, because without those things non-divers think
1) Putting that much time/money/effort/ risk into a bunch of snails is not worth it.
2) Diving is much more dangerous than it actually is.

She needs get some perspective to fully comprehend
1) It IS worth it to you, and for good reason.
2) No its not that dangerous, and you are willing to take steps to ensure your own safety, although those won't make it TOTALLY safe.


And to comment on what some other people have said earlier, I have no hard data to support this, but I totally agree that a disproportionate amount of diving accents occur due to people just being out of shape. Most of us, including myself, didn't spend the winter pool training, running, and taking care of ourselves so we could be in tip top shape for the season. We were drinking beer, eating pizza, and waiting for the weather to clear! I have seen a lot of divers on the north coast who are taking a pretty significant risk by simply being overweight etc and swimming in the ocean. If you aren't one of those guys it is waaaaay safer for you.



Offline Malibu_Two

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2012, 04:26:25 PM »
My rule of thumb is not to go if the swell is over 4 feet. Entering and exiting the water are two of the most dangerous parts in my opinion, and if the ocean is a bathtub, that risk goes way down.
A calm ocean also results in way less surge to get you mixed up in the kelp, not to mention that diving in calm, clear waters is one of the most amazing experiences that California offers.
Andrew

Offline Brandon Turknett

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #19 on: April 13, 2012, 05:11:19 PM »
Phish, my wife has a hard time with me diving too. I just told her its something that I enjoy very much. She has told me how much she worries everytime I go, but it doesnt stop me. Im going to dive because I want to. Im not stopping because she wants me to. Drinking beer and getting drunk everynight, well she has a good argument there. I guess what im getting at is I didnt give her the choice. Im a diver and thats that. Now my 13 and 11 year old boys come with me. Try telling her that one.
Divers go deeper, and stay down longer

Offline Mhathhorn

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2012, 09:08:37 PM »
I work in construction and we sometimes have accidents.  They have done studies and there are always three contribution factors to every fatal accident and for the majority of diving deaths the same is true.  Most abalone diving deaths involve lack of judgment when accessing conditions, lack of physical conditioning in general, and lack of training in the water.  When I decided to take up diving I did three things, I trained including joining an underwater hockey team, I purchased top notch gear that was comfortable, I dove with a more experienced person so I could take advantage of their experience.  Like everything else there are dangers involved - you as a responsible diver owe it to yourself your family and friends to take the physical and training aspects seriously, and remember there is no shame in  driving back home without diving after looking at conditions. 

Offline Rob102

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2012, 05:30:04 AM »
She's obviously scared of something.  The water, sharks or some other bs that she's heard.  Ask her what she is afraid of specifically and address that.  Explain how safe diving is and invite to go with you.  Take her shopping for her own wetsuit.  Try to get her involved.  If she's scared to dive in Cali, take her to warm water.  Offer to take her to Cozumel or Hawaii, if she agrees to go diving there with you.  Hanauma Bay on Oahu is excellent for snorkeling in schools of fish and a very comfortable warm water dive.  Once she's hooked on diving, your all set.

Good luck,

Rob

Red Abalone Diving

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2012, 06:58:04 AM »
I'll weigh in here: one should NOT try to convince someone that ab diving is safe. One should convey I understand your concerns and they are valid, however let me tell you what I do and what I have done to greatly mitigate the risk for me. And as a side note here for the, well lets say the aging ab diver spear fisherman; be truthful to yourself and reassess yourself constantly and your abilities to be safe. For the younger divers, it ain't the things that we don't know that get us into trouble, it's the things we know that ain't so that gets us in trouble. Meaning in this case, don't let that ego cock of the walk bull kill you. If I go deeper, if I stay down longer, it's not to rough for me and so forth all leads to a written check for a debit owed that just may not cash when you need it most to. Remember this abalone stuff and spearfishing is not Top Gun jet fighter bull where the envelope needs to be pushed. No fish, no ab is worth a life.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2012, 08:41:18 AM by Red Abalone Diving »

Offline phishphood

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2012, 10:40:40 PM »
Wow everybody. Thanks for all of the responses. It really gave me a lot of insight into the sport as well as relationships. I'll do what I can on my end and hopefully I'll end up posting some dive reports soon. Not really sure what else to say, but thanks again. And there should be some sort of surgeon general's warning attached to ab gauges stating it's very addictive :). Thanks again guys.

Insert corny line here about her being my trophy "10" .... Calm waters to all
-Mitch...the perpetual newbie :)

Offline Robert

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #24 on: April 15, 2012, 01:21:23 PM »
even large abs have to be beaten with a mallet before they're good. If she keeps up the nagging maybe try beating her with an abalone tenderizer.
it was a goonies reference

Calif_Diver

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #25 on: April 15, 2012, 02:15:13 PM »
Just  show her the nice pearls some of these guys have got out of the abs  and made jewelery out of and tell her your trying to get one for her, :icon_thumright: :icon_thumleft:

Offline jadespearo

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #26 on: April 18, 2012, 09:53:02 PM »
This may sound crazy but before I got married I told my future wife that diving will always be something she can't change. She understood my passion and went on to married me. I think drawing a line in the sand really helped out. It made her her realize my passion for the ocean and that trying to control someone will always fail in the end.

Not sure if this is the right course for you but sometimes you have to put it all on the line. That's my experience, hope it helps.

P.S Whatever you do don't tell her about white sharks...

Offline Mike Rosas

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #27 on: April 19, 2012, 09:39:54 AM »
Just  show her the nice pearls some of these guys have got out of the abs  and made jewelery out of and tell her your trying to get one for her, :icon_thumright: :icon_thumleft:
It got my wife's attention. She's always standing above me waiting for me to hand over the guts so she can sift through them. Over the years she's got quite the collection.

Offline Desertdiver

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #28 on: April 19, 2012, 12:05:16 PM »
Women are like ABs ,  take what you can get easily or ..... Hunt for a Trophy.   Me; Wife # 4 says OK to ABn/Spearn/Surfn/Yakfishn  :headbang:. and I fight the occasional fire when the tones go off at work.    I have kept this trophy going on 21 yrs. even though she thinks :sign5:    Share your Go/No Go trigger points with her so she can better understand the risk management.  Introduce her to some of the other Divers and their Wives/Girlfriends.  A lot of good info and some facts.  If all else fails.... :BangHead:  talk with  1eyedwilly........

Offline maodiver

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Re: How to convince someone that ab diving is safe?
« Reply #29 on: April 19, 2012, 11:34:33 PM »
I am 42 years old, diabetic, high blood pressure, 6'1", and weigh 280 lbs.  I am obviously not in the best shape.  I have also been diving for abalone since I was 16, at pretty much the same body type my whole life.  If I can do this stuff...anyone can. 

I may not be the one to hike down a 90 degree cliff, hit 120 feet, pull a 13 inch ab, wrestle a 56" lingcod on the way up to the surface, swim a mile back to the shore, back up the cliff, bike back to San Francisco, eat the ab raw, (is this getting old yet?), etc.

BUT...I do know my limits, and therein lies the crux of your dilemma.  Convince her that you know your limits...the best way to do that is to take her with you.  Take her on a day when EVERYBODY else is diving, van damme, ft ross, salt point, etc.  show her that people do this safely.
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