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Author Topic: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !  (Read 36873 times)

Offline Stacy Stephenson

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #30 on: December 10, 2010, 03:48:36 PM »
The special and sexy talent of Amy G


SEXXY HUH
Stacy Stephenson
Rock Hard Dive free NCUWH's

Offline Stacy Stephenson

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #31 on: December 10, 2010, 04:24:48 PM »
shoot i lost my video! Ok I found it. Check this video out cool stuff, Thanks aboloneeten
« Last Edit: December 10, 2010, 04:29:29 PM by Stacy Stephenson »
Stacy Stephenson
Rock Hard Dive free NCUWH's

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #32 on: December 10, 2010, 04:51:31 PM »
Those girls are cute as can be and I love how they re-did the beatles song, I was at jack likins BBQ when they first performed it.
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Offline Byers

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #33 on: December 10, 2010, 05:28:30 PM »
WAY COOL,great job ladies  :icon_cheers: :headbang: :hello2:
Bob Byers

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #34 on: December 21, 2010, 09:56:58 AM »
A new invention for women !


Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men promptly took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the living shit out of him.
 
 
 

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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2010, 12:49:02 PM »
Here is another you tube clip that is a knee slapper and a joke enjoy, and ladies this is all done in the name of humor maybe bad humor but humor


 
"I was watching CNN last night, and a recent scientific study proves 65% of women actually do have intelligent DNA in them...

...The other 35% choose to spit it out!"

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chaeki

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #36 on: December 22, 2010, 10:20:57 AM »
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter
part of a sentence or phrase is surprising and unexpected in
a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or
reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for
humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes  producing an
anticlimax.
> >
> >              Ø   I asked God for a bike, but I know God  doesn't work
> >              that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
> >
> >              Ø    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to
> >              his level and beat you with experience.
> >
> >              Ø    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
> >              than standing in a garage makes you a car.
> >
> >              Ø    The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's
> >              still on the list.
> >
> >              Ø    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
> >              people appear bright until you hear them speak.
> >
> >              Ø    If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
> >
> >              Ø    We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in
> >              public.
> >
> >              Ø    War does not determine who is right - only who is
> >              left.
> >
> >              Ø    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is
> >              not putting it in a fruit salad.
> >
> >              Ø    Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
> >              and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
> >
> >              Ø    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal
> >              from many is research.
> >
> >              Ø    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
> >              where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
> >
> >              Ø    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
> >              but it  takes a whole box to start a campfire?
> >
> >              Ø    Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of
> >              captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge
> >              of the pool and throw them fish.
> >
> >              Ø   I  thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted
> >              pay checks.
> >
> >              Ø    A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can
> >              prove that you don't need it.
> >
> >              Ø    Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that
> >              says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
> >
> >              Ø    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming
> >              you.
> >
> >              Ø    Why does someone believe you when you say there are
> >              four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is
> >              wet?
> >
> >              Ø    Why do Americans choose from just two people to run
> >              for president and 50 for Miss America ?
> >
> >              Ø    Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the
> >              fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
> >
> >              Ø    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
> >              memory.
> >
> >              Ø    You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need
> >              a parachute to skydive twice.
> >
> >              Ø    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have
> >              some good ideas!
> >
> >              Ø    Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect
> >              it back.
> >
> >              Ø    A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell
> >              in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
> >
> >              Ø    Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at
> >              home, even if you wish they were.
> >
> >              Ø    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery
> >              easier to live with.
> >
> >              Ø    I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about
> >              to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of
> >              seaweed touches my foot.
> >
> >              Ø    Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever
> >              they go.
> >
> >              Ø    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
> >
> >              Ø    I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice
> >              of lemon,  and a shot of tequila.
> >
> >              Ø    When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that
> >              the Fire Department usually uses water.
> >
> >              Ø    You're never too old to learn something stupid.
> >
> >              Ø    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
> >              whatever you hit the target.
> >
> >              Ø    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
> >
> >              Ø    Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people.
> >              Others have no imagination whatsoever.
> >
> >              Ø    A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you
> >              are after it as when you are in it.
> >
> >              Ø    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

dlcesar

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #37 on: December 22, 2010, 11:33:40 AM »
Ok here is a another joke my friend just sent me. He said it was a internet one so would not be surprised if its not on here already. But I thought it was pretty hilarious!!! So here it goes.  :laughing7:          David

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?

Four skin divers!


dlcesar

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #38 on: December 28, 2010, 10:56:33 PM »
Seen in the Personal Ads column
Young attractive male seeks female dive buddy for shared recreation and friendship, must have boat. Please sent photo of boat.  :icon_thumright:

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #39 on: January 08, 2011, 06:36:23 PM »
Miranda Warning

A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.

She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

The drunk says:

"Tits."

 :laughing7: :laughing4: :laughing7: :laughing4:
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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #40 on: January 10, 2011, 10:36:16 AM »
Just got this in a email and had to share on this wonderful monday !


Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

If…   
1.  You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
     You may be a Muslim
 
 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 
     You may be a Muslim
 
 3. You have more wives than teeth.   
     You may be a Muslim
 
 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.   
     You may be a Muslim
 
 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.   
     You may be a Muslim
 
 6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
     You may be a Muslim
 
 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.   
     You may be a Muslim
 
 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside           bombs.   
     You may be a Muslim
 
 9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.   
     You may be a Muslim
 
 10. Your cousin is president of the United States .   
       You may be a Muslim
 
 11. You find this offensive or racist and don't forward it.
      You may be a Muslim.

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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #41 on: January 18, 2011, 05:10:30 PM »
here is a good one brandon sent me !!!
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Baumer

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Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #42 on: January 24, 2011, 09:33:34 AM »
Funny video I came across.

http://www.wimp.com/mirrorprank/

Calif_Diver

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #43 on: January 24, 2011, 10:53:12 AM »
Funniest Song Parody Ever not for kids profanity heavy and sexual content.



THAT IS JUST WRONG MY FRIEND!!
lol
Says the guy with  Surrender the booty in his  tag line .

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #44 on: February 04, 2011, 04:27:40 PM »
I got this one from my buddy Chad and it is a good one,



A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.  As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted. 
   
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. 
   
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well. 
 
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' 
 
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' 
   
He answers, "Madam...if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price." 



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