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Author Topic: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !  (Read 39752 times)

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2010, 02:48:04 PM »
here are some diving cartoons enjoy








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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2010, 04:44:05 PM »
Here is another one I came across


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Offline livesinhumboldt

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2010, 09:48:10 PM »
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
Bryan S.

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #18 on: November 24, 2010, 07:07:18 AM »
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #19 on: November 24, 2010, 01:06:52 PM »
Came across this on the NCKA site

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'

He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.'

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.

She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.'

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'

He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel combo are $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50
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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #20 on: November 27, 2010, 12:57:12 PM »
Funniest Song Parody Ever not for kids profanity heavy and sexual content.



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Offline Diver Dan

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #21 on: December 01, 2010, 08:45:02 PM »
Fortunately I am not a big chocolate fan to begin with.

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2010, 03:20:18 PM »
You all got to check this one out !!! it is good for a great laugh !!!!!
I know I was busting up at my pc for a few !!!!

http://biggeekdad.com/2010/09/steve-gets-arrested-again/


here is some more from our good friend steve.



« Last Edit: December 02, 2010, 03:27:50 PM by MATT MATTISON »
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Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #23 on: December 07, 2010, 11:46:38 AM »
Thought  for the day.... 

   Calling an illegal alien an
'undocumented immigrant'
is like calling a drug dealer an
'unlicensed pharmacist'

Funny statements

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'   
She hit me.

How come we choose from just  two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.   

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'


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Offline Julian

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #24 on: December 09, 2010, 12:46:54 PM »
A big, roided-out body builder is sitting at a bar and starts hitting it off with a gorgeous blonde.  Their talk starts heating up and he suggests she come back to his place with him.
Once theyre inside, they start making out furiously.  The bodybuilder steps back, tears off his shirt, and says "You see that baby?  Thats 200 pounds of DYNAMITE!"  The girl starts drooling.
Next, he takes off his pants and shows off his thighs and buttocks to her, again saying, "See these baby?  Thats 100 pounds of rock hard DYNAMITE!" 
The girl cant contain herself any longer and hungrily yanks down his underwear...then her eyes bug out and she runs from the room in a panic.  The bodybuilder runs over and cuts her off in the hallway, baffled.  He asks, "Whats wrong babe?"
She says "Well when I see 300 pounds of dynamite with such a short fuse on it I figure I better get the fuk out of here!"


A Brit, a Scotsman, and an Irishman all walk into a bar, sit down on 3 empty stools, and order a mug of beer each.  Right when their drinks arrive, 3 flies fly overhead and one falls into each man's mug.
The Brit wrinkles his nose and pushes his mug away, disgusted and refusing to drink.
The Scotsman grabs the fly, throws it out, and keeps on drinking as if nothing happened.
The Irishman grabs the fly by the wings, holds it over his mug, and starts screaming, "SPIT IT OUT!  SPIT IT OUT YE BASTARD!"


A man comes home after learning that he just won the super lotto.  He bursts through the front door and yells upstairs to his girlfriend,  "BABY, PACK YOUR BAGS!  I JUST HIT THE LOTTO!"
His girlfriend is overcome with excitement.  "THATS GREAT HONEY!  SHOULD I PACK FOR THE MOUNTAINS OR THE TROPICS?"
He shouts back, "I DONT CARE!  JUST GET THE fuk OUT!"


A hunter is creeping through the forest when he comes up on a huge grizzly bear, takes aim, and shoots it dead.  At that moment he feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around to face an even bigger grizzly.
The grizzly says to him "That was my pal you just killed asshole.  I can either maul you right here and now or bend you over and screw you in the ass...your choice."
The panicked hunter chooses the latter and the bear cornholes him.
After healing up for a few weeks, the hunter returns to the forest, finds a huge moose and shoots it dead.  At that moment he feels a tap on his shoulder and an even bigger moose tells him "Hey jerk that was my friend.  I can either trample you to death or Im gonna screw you up the ass."
The terrified hunter again chooses the rape, and bends over the nearest log.
A month later the hunter cautiously goes back to those woods, sees a black bear and shoots it.  Right away he feels a tap on his shoulder and sees a bigger black bear. 
The bear leans in close and asks the man "Hey buddy, you sure youre here for the hunting?"


A guy goes into a bar and starts drinking heavily.  He starts to get a little rowdy and goes around to each table and stool, apparently hassling and harrassing the customers.  The bartender isnt amused.  The man walks up and asks for another beer, and the bartender tells him "Sorry pal, I think youve had enough.  In fact Im gonna have to ask you to leave."
The man says "Alright how about this...I'll bet you a hundred dollars that I can piss into a mug from ten feet away and not spill ONE drop.  I lose, I'll pay you a hundred bucks.  I win, you gotta give me another beer!"
The bartender chuckles and says "There's no way you can do that, youre on!"
The drunk guy steps ten feet back from a glass, unzips his fly, and starts pissing.  He misses the glass, pisses all over the floor, all over the bartender, and all over the bartender, getting it everywhere BUT the glass.  The bartender starts laughing and demands the hundred bucks.
The guy walks over and hands him a $100 bill, and starts laughing even harder.
The bartender asks, "What's so funny?  You just lost!"
The guy says, "Yeah...but I just bet each of those 6 tables over there $100 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd be happy about it."


A woman sits down for a long flight next to a wealthy lawyer.  They strike up a conversation and after a while and the man constantly brags about his immense wealth.  The woman gets fed up with it and challenges him to a game.
She says "We'll take turns.  You can ask me any question you want.  If I dont know the answer, I have to give you five dollars.  But any question I ask you and you dont know the answer to, you have to pay me $50.  You can afford that, right?"
The lawyer pompously declares that he can afford anything and he'd be happy to play the game.  He then asks her the outcome of the case of Pennington v. California in 1996.  She doesnt have any idea, so she gives him $5.
The woman says, "OK my turn.  What goes up a hill on four legs and down a hill on three legs?"
The lawyer thinks about it for the next hour.  He even gets out his laptop and goes on the internet searching for an answer.  Finally, as their plane is landing, he gives up and hands her the $50.
The woman tells him "Thanks."
The lawyer says, "Well wait...what goes up a hill on four legs and comes down on three?"
The woman says "Here's $5."

Offline Stacy Stephenson

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #25 on: December 09, 2010, 01:02:38 PM »
Funniest Song Parody Ever not for kids profanity heavy and sexual content.



THAT IS JUST WRONG MY FRIEND!!
Stacy Stephenson
Rock Hard Dive free NCUWH's

Offline Stacy Stephenson

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #26 on: December 09, 2010, 01:28:21 PM »

Here's one for you 215'ers
Stacy Stephenson
Rock Hard Dive free NCUWH's

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2010, 02:41:10 PM »
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: Still laughing

Offline MATT MATTISON

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #28 on: December 09, 2010, 02:55:00 PM »
The special and sexy talent of Amy G

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Offline Byers

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Re: Funny stuff, video's,jokes and what not !
« Reply #29 on: December 10, 2010, 09:23:18 AM »
Would You Marry Again?  -   Priceless
 
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "SHIT."
 
Bob Byers

 

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THE SPEAR Spearfishing Podcast

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